Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
