hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
