how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
