i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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