I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
