he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
