Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
