just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Randomize
