Non-Jews are for practice
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
