A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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