My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
