When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
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