apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
