They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
