I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
