um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
