Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
