she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
