I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
