Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
