You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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