don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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