You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
