Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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