The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize