Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
