I CAN MOONWALK!
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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