im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
