He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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