but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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