My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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