Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
