I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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