we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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