I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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