That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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