My underwear smells like fireworks.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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