Just fell off a train. Bad.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
