some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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