I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
