It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
