i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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