All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
