youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
