What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
