I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
