youre lurking in front of me
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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