Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize
