obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
the day after is always just damage control
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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