i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
