I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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